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VINTAGE TOURNAMENT HALL EDITION

Stop Reading Engine Evaluations.
Start Reading Roast Evaluations.

Upload any PGN and get a hilarious, deeply disrespectful post-match roast of your game.

Find Out Why Your Queen Left You
Move 18... Nf6??
"Your knight retreated so fast it left a draft."
Move 20... Qd8??
"She left you. And she took the kids."
The Analytical Disconnect

The Monotony of Modern Analysis

Stockfish is a brilliant computer. But it has the emotional intelligence of a toaster.

Traditional Engines

Dry Statistics

Standard chess engines reduce your passion, your sweat, and your tears into mathematical decimal points. You get:

  • Inaccuracy (+0.47)
  • Mistake (-1.35)
  • Blunder (-5.89)
Roast My Chess

Bespoke Humiliation

We translate standard move deviations into memorable, culture-rich insults that will haunt your dreams, helping you learn through emotional scarring.

  • "A visual description of a tragedy."
  • "Your bishop is now a load-bearing column."
  • "A play of pure, unadulterated cowardice."
A Gallery of Sins

Actual Engine Roasts

Real feedback generated for real matches that should have remained private.

Move 14 • Blundered Queen "You spent four moves attacking a pawn. The pawn survived. Your queen didn't."
Move 22 • Dormant Bishop "Your bishop was so inactive it qualified as furniture."
Move 31 • Missed Mate in 2 "You were two moves away from greatness and chose unemployment instead."
"You spent four moves attacking a pawn. The pawn survived. Your queen didn't."
Why Humiliation Works

The Psychological Advantage

Science suggests that pain is a powerful teacher. We make that theory our entire product.

Find Your Most Embarrassing Move

Our algorithms ignore minor inaccuracies to isolate the exact moment your sanity completely evaporated. We hold a magnifying glass to your shame.

Discover What Your Pieces Think About You

Your rook isn't just trapped; it is embarrassed. Your knights are planning a mutiny. We translate the silent screams of your wooden army.

Generate Shareable Roasts

Turn your loss into social capital. Download elegant, editorial-styled cards of your worst moments to prove to your chess community that you have self-awareness.

Turn Blunders Into Entertainment

Losing on time because you hung a knight on b7 isn't a failure anymore—it's a punchline. Laugh through the pain and queue for the next game immediately.

Upload & Repent

The Roast Engine

Feed your game notation into our furnace of truth. We accept PGN format or quick sample trials.

Paste code above or click "Use Sample Game".
Consulting the Grandmasters of Mockery...

Game Roast Complete

Blunder Artistry Grandmaster
Ego Damage 92%
Stockfish Sighs 17 Times
"You spent four moves attacking a pawn. The pawn survived. Your queen didn't."
ROAST MY CHESS v1.0 • VINTAGE TOURNAMENT EDITION
Accept Your Fate

Ready To Get Publicly Humiliated?

Because engine lines don't teach you lessons. Shame does.

Discover What Your Pieces Think About You